I serve as a corper somewhere in Ogun state, at
1st when I was posted there as my PPA i was
very upset little did I know what that small
settlement holds for me, I reported to the school
(yes, I was posted to a school to teach computer)
it was a day before the close of term luckily I met
the vice-principal and was accepted immediately
and was told to resume on the 20th of sept, I
was happy cus I felt like I was in hell and want to
run back to my State to meet my GF I’ve missed,
Fast forward»»»»»»» 26th of sept.
I assumed on that day cus 24th was my younger
bruva’s bday so I had to stay and down those
bottle b4 i left, I got to my kopas lodge dropped
my stuffs and went to the school the next day, on
getting there the VP welcumd me and told me I
will be taking JJ3 computer I agreed and he
asked me if I have accommodation I said no and
he said there is just 1 room for kopas that are
posted there but at that time the room is empty
cus all the kopas prefer d lodge or would asked
him to reject them so they could go look for beta
PPAs, I said i would love to see the place then he
said I should come at the close of school I agreed
then he called a male student to take me to the
class master in the staff room. The master took
me to the class after we talked about wat I
studied and all, he introduce me as there new
computer master and we went back to the staff
room, to be frank I was d only kopa there that
day and the teachers there mostly Yoruba and as
they gist in there dialect d office became borer.
When they rang the closin bell I went to the VP,
he was chatting with a woman while a female
student stood near his seat then he told me that
she would take me to see the room cus her home
is very close to the room and that her father is
the caretaker of the compound where the room is.
I nodded in agreement, he then spoke in dialect
(I’m guess “go show him the room” and she
walked towards me with a friendly smile, it was
when I saw sometin about this innocent beauty,
she has this gap teeth and shallow dimples that
makes her smile so perfect, with a brownish?
Complexion that makes her eyes looks like she
had contacts, in fact she was an Angel without
wings.
As we left the VPs office I now started a
conversation.
Me: Wat ur Name?
Stdnt: Tolu
Me: What class are u?
Tolu: JS3
Me:*Involuntary exclaimation* Ah!
*i took anoda look of who was walking with me
(if u see this babe waist, I think say dat kyn SS2
or 3 sef, d boobs no large)*
JSS3? *i asked again*
Tolu: yes Sir
Me: *oboy see f**k up, wey I for take this one dey
pass time here. Jiah!* How old are u?
Tolu: 15 yrs
Me: 15yrs? Wow! U look 17
Dat Brought out a faint smile from her
Me: I like ur smile
Tolu: thank u Sir, but why do u like my smile sir?
Me: *Yee! I wasn’t expecting a follow up question
oh*
well… Its the open teeth and dimples I think.
Tolu: Really? Wait till u see my elder sisters
Me: *ok gud, elder sisters abi? Gud.* Edler
sisters? How many of them?
Tolu: yes sir, two and 1 broda sir. Here the place
sir that is the room.
*Pointing to a door*
And dats our house.
Me: Ok.
Then I went to inspect the room, the door was
locked so I went back to Tolu, on getting there I
saw her parents, greeted them. They welcomed
me as if I have agreed to stay there with them,
as he was talking to me I was spying the whole
house if i can see the elder sisters, he gave me
the keys, I went to see the room, didn’t like it but
I took the place cuz back in the lodge the
tribalism there was much, where igbo gist with
igbo, yoruba, yoruba and hausa, hausa so I
thought staying alone would be better, I went and
the caretaker told him I will take the place and
that I will come the resume the next day. I came
d next day, clean the place, set up my things then
relaxed and start teaching the next day. After
about a month I was going home after school I
heard sir! sir! sir! I turned back and saw tolu
running towards me, when she met me she said
Tolu: sir, since u came to this place u don’t come
out, u just fetch water from our place then go
home we will not see u till when u need water
again, don’t u talk to people? I told my sister
about u and she said she will visit us just to see
u.
Me: hahahahaha well I don’t know about that oh,
ok I will be coming to meet u or u too can come
to visit na? and for ur sister does she have a
phone
Tolu: yes sir I have her number,
Me: give my number to her and tell her to say hi
Tolu: ok sir, but can I come so u explain more on
today’s topic
Me: no problems
Tolu: tank u sir
At about 6 something I heard a knock on the door
I just knew she was the 1, so I went to the door
and open it and she came in, we discuss on the
topic and as we discuss I was just taking style to
spy her smooth skin after about 30min she took
off her shirt and just with her simy top. wow
those bubba sparks change my thinking then I
changed the topic
Me: wow u have a fine bubbs
Tolu: pls oh my bubbs are just normal oh
I shifted to her and said
Me: what of ur parents?
Tolu: my daddy went out b/4 I came nd my mum
is inside but I told her I was going to do
assignment with my friend
Me: and she allowed u?
Tolu: yes sir.
On hearing that i know my chances are increased
so I contd. the discussion
Me: ok so u lied?
*She Smiled*
Me: this ur smile u go kill me oh, have anybody
told u that u have a cute smile?
Tolu: ah! No oh!
Me: u have not kissed b/4 too?
Tolu: no oh ah! Sirrr
Me: hmmmmm but u know its sweet?
Tolu: so i heard
Me: then experience it na
Tolu: hmm from who na?
Me: me na?
Tolu: hmm
Me: its simple
Tolu: sir I want to go
She stood up pick up her top as was about to
leave I hold her hand and as she turned I planted
a kiss on lip and she responded with eyes closed
and we kissed for about 3minutes then she moved
her hand to my back and was smooching my
back, i responded likewise, soon i move my right
hand to her left bubbs, pressing and smooching,
b4 u say 1, I moved her to the bed, we lie on the
bed while we kiss I put my hand under d singlet
to d bubbs and to get the real sensation, wow
they were soft, soon she asked me to wait that
she want to remove her singlet *in my mind, sho
so fast?* she pull it off and we contd our kiss nd
romance soon i move down to her lap smoching
it, then I unhook the bra and exposed those fresh
bubbs and started sucking dem, she starts to
moan softly
*Unnnn, ohhhh, yeaaaaahhhhhh*
I remove the skirt and pant at once then I
touched her with my tongue round her Tip and
then I finger bleep her and she moaned seriously
loud, I kissed her slowly to the belly button and
down to her kitkat, moan became louder as she
jerked her waist up and down, I inserted 1 finger
in the hole and used my tongue tip to play with
her clit as she moaned ahhhhhhh, yeeeeeeaaahhh
Then I stood up, and remove my short I went
back to my duty of sucking and finger bleeping,
this time she held my dick and started stroking in
up and down, I went back to d buba sparx
sucking.
We romanced for about 15min and she began
asking me to insert my dickson, I quickly put on
my CD on and slowly insert it.
Ahh!!!! Uhhhhh!!! Was what was coming out of her
mouth. I ramp her for 15min den we change
position to doggie, we blast for another 10min I
finally came, and we lied on the bed, discussed as
follows
Me: Wow u are really tyt inside, have done it b4?
Tolu: once
Me: when?
Tolu: when I was in JSS2
Me: hmmmmm and since then u’ve not touched it
made love
Tolu: yes sir
Me: ok then but let me tell u, if u want to enjoy it
continuesly u must respect me as ur teacher and
don’t tell anybody I what happened here even ur
sister.
Tolu: yes sir, I know nd I won’t,
Me: ok then
Tolu: sir I want to go home, cus my daddy must
have arrived.
Me: ok den see u in school 2morw.
and she left my room, after 3min I came out to
receive air, then I suddenly saw 1 good looking
damsel out side tolu’s compund, I did not look
much so it won’t be like I am starring.
Wednesday, 24 August 2016
Sunday, 21 August 2016
HAVE I LOST MY WIFE TO
ANOTHER MAN?
Dave and Clara have been
married 4 over nine years
without children. They
stayed with each other and hoped that they will
have a child before their
10th year of marriage
because they were being
persuaded by family and
some friends to get a divorce but they couldn’t
let go because of the love
between them.
Months passed...by and
while Dave was returning
from work one day, he saw his wife walking down
the road with a man and
they looked happy.
Another evening, while
Dave was coming back
from work, he saw the same man drop her off at
the house. Dave became
angry and sad.
Two days
later, after a hectic day at
work, Dave was taking water with a glass jug
when the phone rang. He
picked it up and the
person said ‘hello dear, I’ll
be coming to your house
this evening to see you as promised. I hope .....’’
and then Dave hung up the
phone.
It was a male
voice. He was sure the
person was the man he had seen with his wife. He
suddenly became shaky
with this thought, ‘’Have i
lost my wife to another
man?’’ At that point, the
glass jug fell from his hand and shattered into
pieces.
Then Clara came running
into the room asking, ‘’Is
everything okay?’’ In anger
he gave his wife a push and she fell. She wasn’t
moving or getting up.
Dave then realised that
she fell where he broke
the glass jug and a large
piece of glass has pierced her. He felt her breath,
pulse and heartbeat but
there she lay lifeless. His
wife was dead.
In total
confusion, he saw an envelope in her hand. He
took it, opened it and was
shocked by its content. It
was a letter and it reads:
‘’ My loving husband,
words cannot express how I feel, so i had to
write it down. I have been
going to see a doctor for
over a week and wanted
to be sure before I give
you the news. The doctor confirmed it that I am
pregnant with a twin and
our babies are due in 7
months from now.
The
doctor also happen to be my long lost brother
whom I lost contact with
after our marriage. He
has promised to take care
of me and our babies and
give us the best without collecting a dime.
He also
promised to have dinner
with us today. Thanks to
you for standing by
me...... your loving wife. As the letter fell from
Dave’s hand, there was a
knock at the door and it
was the same man he had
seen with his wife... and
he said ......’’ hello Dave, I suppose am right, am
Max, your wife’s
brother.....’’And suddenly
he noticed his sister in the
pool of her blood .... he
rushed her to his hospital but it was too late, his
sister, Dave’s wife was
gone and so were the
twins..
LESSON:
In our relationships, which include our
marriage, we should not
be too quick in reacting
when we haven’t
questioned our partner or
spouse on what we saw or heard about them.
Communication, Trust and
Patience are rare gifts we
can bring to our
relationship.
Not everything we see or hear or believe is right
about them.
And to every man or woman on
dis platform, I pray that
patience will have her
perfect way in you and you will want nothing because patience
is that great virtue you need to
keep any relationship working.
ANOTHER MAN?
Dave and Clara have been
married 4 over nine years
without children. They
stayed with each other and hoped that they will
have a child before their
10th year of marriage
because they were being
persuaded by family and
some friends to get a divorce but they couldn’t
let go because of the love
between them.
Months passed...by and
while Dave was returning
from work one day, he saw his wife walking down
the road with a man and
they looked happy.
Another evening, while
Dave was coming back
from work, he saw the same man drop her off at
the house. Dave became
angry and sad.
Two days
later, after a hectic day at
work, Dave was taking water with a glass jug
when the phone rang. He
picked it up and the
person said ‘hello dear, I’ll
be coming to your house
this evening to see you as promised. I hope .....’’
and then Dave hung up the
phone.
It was a male
voice. He was sure the
person was the man he had seen with his wife. He
suddenly became shaky
with this thought, ‘’Have i
lost my wife to another
man?’’ At that point, the
glass jug fell from his hand and shattered into
pieces.
Then Clara came running
into the room asking, ‘’Is
everything okay?’’ In anger
he gave his wife a push and she fell. She wasn’t
moving or getting up.
Dave then realised that
she fell where he broke
the glass jug and a large
piece of glass has pierced her. He felt her breath,
pulse and heartbeat but
there she lay lifeless. His
wife was dead.
In total
confusion, he saw an envelope in her hand. He
took it, opened it and was
shocked by its content. It
was a letter and it reads:
‘’ My loving husband,
words cannot express how I feel, so i had to
write it down. I have been
going to see a doctor for
over a week and wanted
to be sure before I give
you the news. The doctor confirmed it that I am
pregnant with a twin and
our babies are due in 7
months from now.
The
doctor also happen to be my long lost brother
whom I lost contact with
after our marriage. He
has promised to take care
of me and our babies and
give us the best without collecting a dime.
He also
promised to have dinner
with us today. Thanks to
you for standing by
me...... your loving wife. As the letter fell from
Dave’s hand, there was a
knock at the door and it
was the same man he had
seen with his wife... and
he said ......’’ hello Dave, I suppose am right, am
Max, your wife’s
brother.....’’And suddenly
he noticed his sister in the
pool of her blood .... he
rushed her to his hospital but it was too late, his
sister, Dave’s wife was
gone and so were the
twins..
LESSON:
In our relationships, which include our
marriage, we should not
be too quick in reacting
when we haven’t
questioned our partner or
spouse on what we saw or heard about them.
Communication, Trust and
Patience are rare gifts we
can bring to our
relationship.
Not everything we see or hear or believe is right
about them.
And to every man or woman on
dis platform, I pray that
patience will have her
perfect way in you and you will want nothing because patience
is that great virtue you need to
keep any relationship working.
HAVE I LOST MY WIFE TO
ANOTHER MAN?
Dave and Clara have been
married 4 over nine years
without children. They
stayed with each other and hoped that they will
have a child before their
10th year of marriage
because they were being
persuaded by family and
some friends to get a divorce but they couldn’t
let go because of the love
between them.
Months passed...by and
while Dave was returning
from work one day, he saw his wife walking down
the road with a man and
they looked happy.
Another evening, while
Dave was coming back
from work, he saw the same man drop her off at
the house. Dave became
angry and sad.
Two days
later, after a hectic day at
work, Dave was taking water with a glass jug
when the phone rang. He
picked it up and the
person said ‘hello dear, I’ll
be coming to your house
this evening to see you as promised. I hope .....’’
and then Dave hung up the
phone.
It was a male
voice. He was sure the
person was the man he had seen with his wife. He
suddenly became shaky
with this thought, ‘’Have i
lost my wife to another
man?’’ At that point, the
glass jug fell from his hand and shattered into
pieces.
Then Clara came running
into the room asking, ‘’Is
everything okay?’’ In anger
he gave his wife a push and she fell. She wasn’t
moving or getting up.
Dave then realised that
she fell where he broke
the glass jug and a large
piece of glass has pierced her. He felt her breath,
pulse and heartbeat but
there she lay lifeless. His
wife was dead.
In total
confusion, he saw an envelope in her hand. He
took it, opened it and was
shocked by its content. It
was a letter and it reads:
‘’ My loving husband,
words cannot express how I feel, so i had to
write it down. I have been
going to see a doctor for
over a week and wanted
to be sure before I give
you the news. The doctor confirmed it that I am
pregnant with a twin and
our babies are due in 7
months from now.
The
doctor also happen to be my long lost brother
whom I lost contact with
after our marriage. He
has promised to take care
of me and our babies and
give us the best without collecting a dime.
He also
promised to have dinner
with us today. Thanks to
you for standing by
me...... your loving wife. As the letter fell from
Dave’s hand, there was a
knock at the door and it
was the same man he had
seen with his wife... and
he said ......’’ hello Dave, I suppose am right, am
Max, your wife’s
brother.....’’And suddenly
he noticed his sister in the
pool of her blood .... he
rushed her to his hospital but it was too late, his
sister, Dave’s wife was
gone and so were the
twins..
LESSON:
In our relationships, which include our
marriage, we should not
be too quick in reacting
when we haven’t
questioned our partner or
spouse on what we saw or heard about them.
Communication, Trust and
Patience are rare gifts we
can bring to our
relationship.
Not everything we see or hear or believe is right
about them.
And to every man or woman on
dis platform, I pray that
patience will have her
perfect way in you and you will want nothing because patience
is that great virtue you need to
keep any relationship working.
ANOTHER MAN?
Dave and Clara have been
married 4 over nine years
without children. They
stayed with each other and hoped that they will
have a child before their
10th year of marriage
because they were being
persuaded by family and
some friends to get a divorce but they couldn’t
let go because of the love
between them.
Months passed...by and
while Dave was returning
from work one day, he saw his wife walking down
the road with a man and
they looked happy.
Another evening, while
Dave was coming back
from work, he saw the same man drop her off at
the house. Dave became
angry and sad.
Two days
later, after a hectic day at
work, Dave was taking water with a glass jug
when the phone rang. He
picked it up and the
person said ‘hello dear, I’ll
be coming to your house
this evening to see you as promised. I hope .....’’
and then Dave hung up the
phone.
It was a male
voice. He was sure the
person was the man he had seen with his wife. He
suddenly became shaky
with this thought, ‘’Have i
lost my wife to another
man?’’ At that point, the
glass jug fell from his hand and shattered into
pieces.
Then Clara came running
into the room asking, ‘’Is
everything okay?’’ In anger
he gave his wife a push and she fell. She wasn’t
moving or getting up.
Dave then realised that
she fell where he broke
the glass jug and a large
piece of glass has pierced her. He felt her breath,
pulse and heartbeat but
there she lay lifeless. His
wife was dead.
In total
confusion, he saw an envelope in her hand. He
took it, opened it and was
shocked by its content. It
was a letter and it reads:
‘’ My loving husband,
words cannot express how I feel, so i had to
write it down. I have been
going to see a doctor for
over a week and wanted
to be sure before I give
you the news. The doctor confirmed it that I am
pregnant with a twin and
our babies are due in 7
months from now.
The
doctor also happen to be my long lost brother
whom I lost contact with
after our marriage. He
has promised to take care
of me and our babies and
give us the best without collecting a dime.
He also
promised to have dinner
with us today. Thanks to
you for standing by
me...... your loving wife. As the letter fell from
Dave’s hand, there was a
knock at the door and it
was the same man he had
seen with his wife... and
he said ......’’ hello Dave, I suppose am right, am
Max, your wife’s
brother.....’’And suddenly
he noticed his sister in the
pool of her blood .... he
rushed her to his hospital but it was too late, his
sister, Dave’s wife was
gone and so were the
twins..
LESSON:
In our relationships, which include our
marriage, we should not
be too quick in reacting
when we haven’t
questioned our partner or
spouse on what we saw or heard about them.
Communication, Trust and
Patience are rare gifts we
can bring to our
relationship.
Not everything we see or hear or believe is right
about them.
And to every man or woman on
dis platform, I pray that
patience will have her
perfect way in you and you will want nothing because patience
is that great virtue you need to
keep any relationship working.
EDUCATION IS VERY GOOD
A student failed JAMB 5 tyms. 1 day, she travelled 2 visit her frnd in UNIBEN, she fell sick & was admitted to a hospital there. She later called her mum & said...
GIRL: Hello ma
MUM: The place is silent, whr r u?
GIRL: I'm in UNIBEN
MUM: Wooow finally, thank God o
GIRL: I was admitted
MUM: Thats great o. God has disgraced the witches in ur father's house dat don't want you to go to school (laughing & dancing)
GIRL: Mama na Malaria o
MUM: Malaria is a gud course o my daughter, plz take it serious o
GIRL: I would b discharged 2moro
MUM: God forbid my daughter!!!. U go complete ur four years over there in Jesus name.
Girl: God punish Illiteracy!!!
Mum: Amen..... coz I heard dat d lecturer is very wicked.
A student failed JAMB 5 tyms. 1 day, she travelled 2 visit her frnd in UNIBEN, she fell sick & was admitted to a hospital there. She later called her mum & said...
GIRL: Hello ma
MUM: The place is silent, whr r u?
GIRL: I'm in UNIBEN
MUM: Wooow finally, thank God o
GIRL: I was admitted
MUM: Thats great o. God has disgraced the witches in ur father's house dat don't want you to go to school (laughing & dancing)
GIRL: Mama na Malaria o
MUM: Malaria is a gud course o my daughter, plz take it serious o
GIRL: I would b discharged 2moro
MUM: God forbid my daughter!!!. U go complete ur four years over there in Jesus name.
Girl: God punish Illiteracy!!!
Mum: Amen..... coz I heard dat d lecturer is very wicked.
Saturday, 20 August 2016
4 WIVES This is something to think about: 4 WIVES
Once upon a time there was a rich King who had four wives.
He loved the 4th wife the most and adored her with rich
robes and treated her to the finest of delicacies. He gave
her nothing but the best.
He also loved the 3rd wife very much and was always
showing her off to neighboring kingdoms. However, he feared
that one day she would leave him for another.
He also loved his 2nd wife. She was his confidant and was
always kind, considerate and patient with him. Whenever the
King faced a problem, he could confide in her, and she would
help him get through the difficult times.
The King's 1st wife was a very loyal partner and had made
great contributions in maintaining his wealth and kingdom.
However, he did not love the first wife. Although she loved
him deeply, he hardly took notice of her!
One day, the King fell ill and he knew his time was short.
He thought of his luxurious life and wondered, I now have
four wives with me, but when I die, I'll be all alone."
Thus, he asked the 4th wife , "I loved you the most,
endowed
you with the finest clothing and showered great care over
you. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me
company?"
"No way!", replied the 4th wife, and she walked away
. without another word.
Her answer cut like a sharp knife right into his heart.
The sad King then asked the 3rd wife, "I loved you all my
life. Now that I'm dying,will you follow me and keep me
company?"
"No!", replied the 3rd wife. "Life is too good!
When you die, I'm going to remarry!"
His heart sank and turned cold.
He then asked the 2nd wife, "I have always
turned to you for help and you've always been there for me.
When I die, will you follow me and keep me company?"
"I'm sorry, I can't help you out this time!", replied the
2nd wife. "At the very most,I can only walk with you to
your grave."
Her answer struck him like a bolt of lightning, and the
King
was devastated. Then a voice called out: "I'll go with you.
I'll follow you no matter where you go."
The King looked up, and there was his first wife. She was
very skinny as she suffered from malnutrition and neglect.
Greatly grieved, the King said, "I should have taken much
better care of you when I had the chance!"
In truth, we all have the 4 wives in our lives:
Our 4th wife is our body. No matter how much time and
effort
we lavish in making it look good, it will leave us when we
die.
Our 3rd wife is our possessions, status and wealth.When we
die, it will all go to others.
Our 2nd wife is our family and friends. No matter how much
they have been there for us, the furthest they can stay by
us is up to the grave.
And our 1st wife is our Soul. Often neglected in pursuit of
wealth, power and pleasures of the world.
However, our Soul is the only thing that will follow us
where ever we go.Cultivate, strengthen and cherish it now,
for it is the only part of us that will follow us to the
throne of God and continue with us throughout Eternity.
Thought for the day:Remember, when the world pushes you to
your knees, you're in the perfect position to pray. May God answer our prayers (amin)
Once upon a time there was a rich King who had four wives.
He loved the 4th wife the most and adored her with rich
robes and treated her to the finest of delicacies. He gave
her nothing but the best.
He also loved the 3rd wife very much and was always
showing her off to neighboring kingdoms. However, he feared
that one day she would leave him for another.
He also loved his 2nd wife. She was his confidant and was
always kind, considerate and patient with him. Whenever the
King faced a problem, he could confide in her, and she would
help him get through the difficult times.
The King's 1st wife was a very loyal partner and had made
great contributions in maintaining his wealth and kingdom.
However, he did not love the first wife. Although she loved
him deeply, he hardly took notice of her!
One day, the King fell ill and he knew his time was short.
He thought of his luxurious life and wondered, I now have
four wives with me, but when I die, I'll be all alone."
Thus, he asked the 4th wife , "I loved you the most,
endowed
you with the finest clothing and showered great care over
you. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me
company?"
"No way!", replied the 4th wife, and she walked away
. without another word.
Her answer cut like a sharp knife right into his heart.
The sad King then asked the 3rd wife, "I loved you all my
life. Now that I'm dying,will you follow me and keep me
company?"
"No!", replied the 3rd wife. "Life is too good!
When you die, I'm going to remarry!"
His heart sank and turned cold.
He then asked the 2nd wife, "I have always
turned to you for help and you've always been there for me.
When I die, will you follow me and keep me company?"
"I'm sorry, I can't help you out this time!", replied the
2nd wife. "At the very most,I can only walk with you to
your grave."
Her answer struck him like a bolt of lightning, and the
King
was devastated. Then a voice called out: "I'll go with you.
I'll follow you no matter where you go."
The King looked up, and there was his first wife. She was
very skinny as she suffered from malnutrition and neglect.
Greatly grieved, the King said, "I should have taken much
better care of you when I had the chance!"
In truth, we all have the 4 wives in our lives:
Our 4th wife is our body. No matter how much time and
effort
we lavish in making it look good, it will leave us when we
die.
Our 3rd wife is our possessions, status and wealth.When we
die, it will all go to others.
Our 2nd wife is our family and friends. No matter how much
they have been there for us, the furthest they can stay by
us is up to the grave.
And our 1st wife is our Soul. Often neglected in pursuit of
wealth, power and pleasures of the world.
However, our Soul is the only thing that will follow us
where ever we go.Cultivate, strengthen and cherish it now,
for it is the only part of us that will follow us to the
throne of God and continue with us throughout Eternity.
Thought for the day:Remember, when the world pushes you to
your knees, you're in the perfect position to pray. May God answer our prayers (amin)
A professor was travelling by boat on a high
sea. On their way, he asked the sailor: ‘Hey! do
u know Oceanology? Biology? Ecology? Zoology?
Physiology?
Epidemology?
‘NO’ said the sailor.
The Prof got angry and said: 'then what the hell
do u know? You will die of illetracy'!.
30 minutes later, the boat started sinking. The
sailor looked at Prof and asked: 'Prof, do u
know Swiminology and Escapeology from
Sharkology?
‘NO’ said the Prof.
Sailor: Well that means Crocodileology will eat
your Headology and u will Dielogy with your
Knowledgeology because of your Mouthology
and grammartology.
Morals
*Don't be proud!*
You are not an island of knowledge, don't look
down on anyone, we all have different grace
and ability. The God that creates pussy cat to
live on land also creates catfish to live in water.
One day you will know that you are just
fragment of God's creation.
sea. On their way, he asked the sailor: ‘Hey! do
u know Oceanology? Biology? Ecology? Zoology?
Physiology?
Epidemology?
‘NO’ said the sailor.
The Prof got angry and said: 'then what the hell
do u know? You will die of illetracy'!.
30 minutes later, the boat started sinking. The
sailor looked at Prof and asked: 'Prof, do u
know Swiminology and Escapeology from
Sharkology?
‘NO’ said the Prof.
Sailor: Well that means Crocodileology will eat
your Headology and u will Dielogy with your
Knowledgeology because of your Mouthology
and grammartology.
Morals
*Don't be proud!*
You are not an island of knowledge, don't look
down on anyone, we all have different grace
and ability. The God that creates pussy cat to
live on land also creates catfish to live in water.
One day you will know that you are just
fragment of God's creation.
Yawa
I was eating and enjoyn my mineral drink dis a.m
@7:45 in a Restaurant; a man entered the
restaurant wit a brief case.
I guess he is a big politician becos his dressing
and pot belly portrays it.
He walked and sat down as everybody looked at
him. Suddenly a woman came to him and started
crying.
The woman knelt down and told him dat her
children and her wan die of hunger since her
husband died.
This man opened the brief case and gave dis
woman five hundred thousand naira. D woman
jumped up and left d scene in happiness. I was
still watchn wen anoda man started crying and
came to him. He knelt down and beggged him dat
he needed money to establish a bizness.
This man brought out ten million naira cheque
and gave this man.
This time, i started murmuring and practicing on
the lie i will blow to have my own national cake. I
started crying and came to the man.
Immediately i knelt down, I heard “cut!! Cut!! Cut!!”.
I turned and saw the director of the movie. He
laughed and said “oh boi na movie we dey shoot
here” oo
.
Hahahahahah shame wan kill me. Chaii!!
.
Economy no go kill person lol.
@7:45 in a Restaurant; a man entered the
restaurant wit a brief case.
I guess he is a big politician becos his dressing
and pot belly portrays it.
He walked and sat down as everybody looked at
him. Suddenly a woman came to him and started
crying.
The woman knelt down and told him dat her
children and her wan die of hunger since her
husband died.
This man opened the brief case and gave dis
woman five hundred thousand naira. D woman
jumped up and left d scene in happiness. I was
still watchn wen anoda man started crying and
came to him. He knelt down and beggged him dat
he needed money to establish a bizness.
This man brought out ten million naira cheque
and gave this man.
This time, i started murmuring and practicing on
the lie i will blow to have my own national cake. I
started crying and came to the man.
Immediately i knelt down, I heard “cut!! Cut!! Cut!!”.
I turned and saw the director of the movie. He
laughed and said “oh boi na movie we dey shoot
here” oo
.
Hahahahahah shame wan kill me. Chaii!!
.
Economy no go kill person lol.
Wise thought
1). He who _refuses to mix Agege bread and akara as a type of sandwich_ is a *racist* - Martin Luther King jnr (1788)
2). He who _completely unwraps moimoi and gala_
before eating *cannot keep a secret* - Abraham Lincoln (1864)
3). Only a *courageous woman* can _fry a bunch of plantain without tasting any_ - Albert Macauley (1872)
4). _Drinking Garri_ doesn't mean ~*u're poor*~, but _allowing the Garri to swell before drinking_ is *poverty* - Queen Elizabeth (1893)
5). Any man who _drinks Alomo bitters without squeezing his face_, is *capable of murder* - Michael Faraday (1899)
6). Any man that uses his _teeth to cut shaki from pepper soup, with his eyes wide open_, is *not afraid of anything* - Williams Shakespeare (1900)
7). Anyone who _graduates from a conventional school without experiencing a strike_, has *never been to Nigeria* - Lord Lugard (1904)
8). He who _runs around looking for scissors to cut indomine seasoning sachet_ is *not hungry* - Dr Nnamdi
Azikiwe (1947)
9). He who says _nothing lasts forever_ has *never tried Hausa perfume* - Nelson Mandela (1973)
10). No matter _how hot your temper is_, *it cannot cook yam* - Prof Jega (2015)
11). Anyone who _reads this without laughing_, is *either looking for job* or *needs money badly* - Barack
Obama (2014).
😀😀😀
2). He who _completely unwraps moimoi and gala_
before eating *cannot keep a secret* - Abraham Lincoln (1864)
3). Only a *courageous woman* can _fry a bunch of plantain without tasting any_ - Albert Macauley (1872)
4). _Drinking Garri_ doesn't mean ~*u're poor*~, but _allowing the Garri to swell before drinking_ is *poverty* - Queen Elizabeth (1893)
5). Any man who _drinks Alomo bitters without squeezing his face_, is *capable of murder* - Michael Faraday (1899)
6). Any man that uses his _teeth to cut shaki from pepper soup, with his eyes wide open_, is *not afraid of anything* - Williams Shakespeare (1900)
7). Anyone who _graduates from a conventional school without experiencing a strike_, has *never been to Nigeria* - Lord Lugard (1904)
8). He who _runs around looking for scissors to cut indomine seasoning sachet_ is *not hungry* - Dr Nnamdi
Azikiwe (1947)
9). He who says _nothing lasts forever_ has *never tried Hausa perfume* - Nelson Mandela (1973)
10). No matter _how hot your temper is_, *it cannot cook yam* - Prof Jega (2015)
11). Anyone who _reads this without laughing_, is *either looking for job* or *needs money badly* - Barack
Obama (2014).
😀😀😀
Dullard
When Uche was in SS3, his teacher always yelled at him,
calling him a waste of conception, time and space and a
sure failure in life".
One day, poor Uche's grandma came to school to check out
how her grandson was doing.
The teacher told her quite frankly that she had never seen
such a dumb boy all her life; and advised her to withdraw
and enroll him under an artisan, because formal schooling
for Uche would be a total waste of time and money.
The grandma, shocked at the teacher's remarks, withdrew
her grandson from the school and relocated to Maiduguri.
**** 25 years later ****
The teacher was diagnosed with a brain tumour. All the
doctors she met advised her to do surgery and only a
certain doctor in the whole of Nigeria (practicing in
Maiduguri) could perform this procedure. Left with no
alternative, the poor teacher agreed to have the surgery
performed.
Fortunately, It was successful. When she awoke hours after
the surgery, she saw a handsome young doctor smiling
down at her. She was on artificial respiration from a
machine that provided her oxygen. She wanted to thank him
but could not speak. She looked sideways and suddenly
began to express shock & anguish, her face started to turn
pale; she frantically made attempts to raise her hand and
tell him something but couldn't. She struggled, she fought
hard-Then she gave up the Ghost and died. The young
doctor was shocked. He tried to find out what went wrong.
Eventually, it was found out that it was our dear Uche (now
working as a cleaner in the hospital) who had disconnected
the lady's oxygen machine to connect his phone charger.
Wait ooo!... Don't tell me that you thought that Uche
became the doctor?
Lol If I hear....dis is not Nollywood.!! Uche no know book
period!!...
calling him a waste of conception, time and space and a
sure failure in life".
One day, poor Uche's grandma came to school to check out
how her grandson was doing.
The teacher told her quite frankly that she had never seen
such a dumb boy all her life; and advised her to withdraw
and enroll him under an artisan, because formal schooling
for Uche would be a total waste of time and money.
The grandma, shocked at the teacher's remarks, withdrew
her grandson from the school and relocated to Maiduguri.
**** 25 years later ****
The teacher was diagnosed with a brain tumour. All the
doctors she met advised her to do surgery and only a
certain doctor in the whole of Nigeria (practicing in
Maiduguri) could perform this procedure. Left with no
alternative, the poor teacher agreed to have the surgery
performed.
Fortunately, It was successful. When she awoke hours after
the surgery, she saw a handsome young doctor smiling
down at her. She was on artificial respiration from a
machine that provided her oxygen. She wanted to thank him
but could not speak. She looked sideways and suddenly
began to express shock & anguish, her face started to turn
pale; she frantically made attempts to raise her hand and
tell him something but couldn't. She struggled, she fought
hard-Then she gave up the Ghost and died. The young
doctor was shocked. He tried to find out what went wrong.
Eventually, it was found out that it was our dear Uche (now
working as a cleaner in the hospital) who had disconnected
the lady's oxygen machine to connect his phone charger.
Wait ooo!... Don't tell me that you thought that Uche
became the doctor?
Lol If I hear....dis is not Nollywood.!! Uche no know book
period!!...
Comedy
This oyinbo people, no be today dia sense start. They just took all their hobbies and arranged them as Olympic sport. As in, what am I seeing? Water polo, Dancing horses, Fencing etc. Then they invite us knowing our sense
never pass football and 100m. So we are just there to watch them carry 30, 60 gold medals while we are battling for 2.
We should organise a protest o. We must boycott this Olympic 419 games until they add more afrocentric sports like...
- eba swallowing competition
- ludo
- fashion and make up
- ten-ten
- molue-jumping
- fence-flying
- okada race
- spending money
- gele-tying
- beating traffic
-draft playing
-baba ijebu
-Draft
never pass football and 100m. So we are just there to watch them carry 30, 60 gold medals while we are battling for 2.
We should organise a protest o. We must boycott this Olympic 419 games until they add more afrocentric sports like...
- eba swallowing competition
- ludo
- fashion and make up
- ten-ten
- molue-jumping
- fence-flying
- okada race
- spending money
- gele-tying
- beating traffic
-draft playing
-baba ijebu
-Draft
Comedy
*An Ijebu Boy traveled to Lagos after his WAEC result was out so that his Uncle will help him get admission into the University of Lagos to study medicine and become a medical doctor.*
*The following conversation came up:*
*Boy: Uncle, I learnt it's difficult to gain admission into the university these days except you are well connected*
*Uncle: That's true.*
*Boy: Since you are connected, I came to ask you if you can help me get admission into the university after my JAMB*
*Uncle: That's true..am connected and I will help u*
*Boy: Thank you Uncle*
*Uncle: You're welcome...so how is your result, is it WAEC or NECO and how many credits did you get?*
*Boy: Uncle, it's WAEC, I had only two credits in agric and Yoruba language but I failed the rest*
*Uncle: Well, that's not bad, you can still be a doctor, not a medical doctor really but native doctor (babalawo) 😳. You will use your credit in agric in collecting herbs from the forest, and Yoruba language for incantations.*
There is still a sensation that for all his intricate
footwork and deadly strikes from distance he still
lacks the crucial aspect of midfield player - that
quiet domination of his sector for 90 minutes.
However, what is apparent is a genuine
excitement for Manchester United this season.
There would appear to be a perfect blend of
solidity at the back - led by the outstanding Eric
Bailly - and the fantasy element added to the
squad by Pogba, Ibrahimovic, Henrikh Mkhitaryan
and, of course, the man in charge. Mourinho and
United appear a perfect fit.
The club gave itself a huge boost with their work
in the transfer market and in their recruitment of
the two-time Champions League winner as
coach. It might be a Europa League reality for
United this season - with more matches to come
on Thursdays than Fridays - but they are
operating in the realms of the super clubs again.
They have convinced the biggest names to come
on board - the best players in France, Germany
and Spain - and the most magnetic personality in
football to oversee it all.
They do not feel like a fading force any longer -
the fans are coming here expecting to win.
footwork and deadly strikes from distance he still
lacks the crucial aspect of midfield player - that
quiet domination of his sector for 90 minutes.
However, what is apparent is a genuine
excitement for Manchester United this season.
There would appear to be a perfect blend of
solidity at the back - led by the outstanding Eric
Bailly - and the fantasy element added to the
squad by Pogba, Ibrahimovic, Henrikh Mkhitaryan
and, of course, the man in charge. Mourinho and
United appear a perfect fit.
The club gave itself a huge boost with their work
in the transfer market and in their recruitment of
the two-time Champions League winner as
coach. It might be a Europa League reality for
United this season - with more matches to come
on Thursdays than Fridays - but they are
operating in the realms of the super clubs again.
They have convinced the biggest names to come
on board - the best players in France, Germany
and Spain - and the most magnetic personality in
football to oversee it all.
They do not feel like a fading force any longer -
the fans are coming here expecting to win.
Netherlands goalkeeper Jasper Cillessen has
agreed a five-year deal at Barcelona ahead of his
move from Ajax, according to De Telegraaf .
Cillessen, 27, has been lined up by the Blaugrana
as a replacement for Claudio Bravo, who is set to
complete a switch to Manchester City.
The report claims Barcelona are set to land
Cillessen, who will act as an understudy to Marc-
Andre ter Stegen, for a fee in the region of €14
million.
Cillessen joined Ajax from NEC in 2011 and has
gone on to make over 100 appearances for the
Dutch giants in all competitions.
agreed a five-year deal at Barcelona ahead of his
move from Ajax, according to De Telegraaf .
Cillessen, 27, has been lined up by the Blaugrana
as a replacement for Claudio Bravo, who is set to
complete a switch to Manchester City.
The report claims Barcelona are set to land
Cillessen, who will act as an understudy to Marc-
Andre ter Stegen, for a fee in the region of €14
million.
Cillessen joined Ajax from NEC in 2011 and has
gone on to make over 100 appearances for the
Dutch giants in all competitions.
Friday, 19 August 2016
All You Need To Know About WINThrillsnetwork (WIN)
No doubt WINThrillsnetwork is one of the best in providing
online job opportunities out there. But some people still
find it hard to maximize opportunities the WIN company is
offering. So Ill just give some tips and also explain what
the WIN network is actually about and the uncut truth of
how winthrillsnetwork. com make money from their
advertising services.
So What Is The Full meaning Of WIN?
WIN stands for Web Income Nigeria. The website is only a
part or a brother platform for the Mandee Thrills LTD
company services which includes digital advertising,
hosting services, online marketing, online trading and it
goes on as far as any online business you can think of. .
they are all into it. It turns out that the owner of the
company is actually a Nigerian (Michael Rotimi Richards)
born and raised in the UK. So the WIN platform is simply a
segment of what the Mandee Thrlls company is into.
Is Winthrills A Scam?
No! The platform provides legit services to its customers
and also to its partners. The truth is scam businesses cant
survive in today's viral internet world. If by any chance you
even come across any scam website, give them a few
weeks and they'll be out of the internet and out of business.
The WIN platform has been in business for more than 3
years now and all they provide is awesome digital
advertising and home income opportunity services. I say
this because I am a WIN customer/advertiser and
promoter.
What Services Does WINThrills Offer?
Winthrillsnetwork. com is an Advertising Network that
delivers both amazing results for its advertisers and a
highly profitable revenue stream for its promoters. Since
2010, online marketers have depended on the WIN
Advertising Network to deliver to visitors. WIN centralizes
the advertisers who wish to promote products or services
online and the promoters who are eager to generate
revenue.
Connecting Promoters and Advertisers in WIN's Social
Network Advertising
With social network targeting, WIN utilizes its extensive
promoter network of over 190,000 active social network
promoters (on Facebook, Twitter and Google+) to provide
advertisers with large volumes of targeted traffic to
Nigerians in real-time. The advertisers only pay for
impressions.
So could It be said that the WIN advertising network is
strictly for Nigerians?.
No!!!,. . I have a friend in Lagos who says he is a staff of
the WIN website. He said that the WIN platform has
hundreds of staff working in Nigeria. . and they are all
working from their homes. He said as a support staff, he
works five hours every day replying emails, tickets and
going through updates and guidelines as regarding the WIN
platform to help him with the work. Cool isnt it? But he say
it isnt easy working for WIN. He also said most of the WIN
consistent clients are actually foreigners. . . Most of who
want to get their products in front of Nigerians. And he said
they are paid alot to do that. However, the promoters on
the WIN platform are strictly Nigerians. So it could be said
that most of the company's revenue is gotten through
foreign advertisers.
Lets get to the Fun part. .
I am a member of the WIN network. Been a member for
more than a year now and I really enjoy their advertising
services and also their promoter, affiliate or referral
programs.
No doubt WINThrillsnetwork is one of the best in providing
online job opportunities out there. But some people still
find it hard to maximize opportunities the WIN company is
offering. So Ill just give some tips and also explain what
the WIN network is actually about and the uncut truth of
how winthrillsnetwork. com make money from their
advertising services.
So What Is The Full meaning Of WIN?
WIN stands for Web Income Nigeria. The website is only a
part or a brother platform for the Mandee Thrills LTD
company services which includes digital advertising,
hosting services, online marketing, online trading and it
goes on as far as any online business you can think of. .
they are all into it. It turns out that the owner of the
company is actually a Nigerian (Michael Rotimi Richards)
born and raised in the UK. So the WIN platform is simply a
segment of what the Mandee Thrlls company is into.
Is Winthrills A Scam?
No! The platform provides legit services to its customers
and also to its partners. The truth is scam businesses cant
survive in today's viral internet world. If by any chance you
even come across any scam website, give them a few
weeks and they'll be out of the internet and out of business.
The WIN platform has been in business for more than 3
years now and all they provide is awesome digital
advertising and home income opportunity services. I say
this because I am a WIN customer/advertiser and
promoter.
What Services Does WINThrills Offer?
Winthrillsnetwork. com is an Advertising Network that
delivers both amazing results for its advertisers and a
highly profitable revenue stream for its promoters. Since
2010, online marketers have depended on the WIN
Advertising Network to deliver to visitors. WIN centralizes
the advertisers who wish to promote products or services
online and the promoters who are eager to generate
revenue.
Connecting Promoters and Advertisers in WIN's Social
Network Advertising
With social network targeting, WIN utilizes its extensive
promoter network of over 190,000 active social network
promoters (on Facebook, Twitter and Google+) to provide
advertisers with large volumes of targeted traffic to
Nigerians in real-time. The advertisers only pay for
impressions.
So could It be said that the WIN advertising network is
strictly for Nigerians?.
No!!!,. . I have a friend in Lagos who says he is a staff of
the WIN website. He said that the WIN platform has
hundreds of staff working in Nigeria. . and they are all
working from their homes. He said as a support staff, he
works five hours every day replying emails, tickets and
going through updates and guidelines as regarding the WIN
platform to help him with the work. Cool isnt it? But he say
it isnt easy working for WIN. He also said most of the WIN
consistent clients are actually foreigners. . . Most of who
want to get their products in front of Nigerians. And he said
they are paid alot to do that. However, the promoters on
the WIN platform are strictly Nigerians. So it could be said
that most of the company's revenue is gotten through
foreign advertisers.
Lets get to the Fun part. .
I am a member of the WIN network. Been a member for
more than a year now and I really enjoy their advertising
services and also their promoter, affiliate or referral
programs.
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